Can you go to marriage counselling alone?
Can I go to Marriage Counselling alone? Yes you can!
I often work with one partner in the relationship when the other partner is unwilling to engage in marriage counselling. Ideally I will see both partners, but sometimes one partner is in denial of there being a problem, so feels there’s not a need for them to attend. Sometimes the absent partner says it is the one attending who has a problem and needs to get that sorted, so again, no need for them to come. And sometimes the partner I see is in an abusive or controlling marriage.
Sometimes I will see each partner separately for an initial session moving onto a joint session thereafter. Other times it is sensible to see a partner individually when there are problems that affect the marriage, but are not of the marriage. In these circumstances single marriage counselling sessions can be extremely effective as in joint sessions people may avoid bringing something up from their past as they fear it will upset their partner.
In any relationship we often try to protect others, or not say something that may cause hurt, or try to say what we think we should say, which means we are skirting around, or avoiding talking about important issues.
Marriage Counselling needs to take place in a safe setting, where you and/or your partner feel comfortable, listened to, understood and secure in the knowledge it is totally confidential.
In sessions we can explore the beginnings of the relationship, how they met, backgrounds, careers, shared hopes and dreams, and importantly, were they in love when they married.
If there seems to be a basis for a happy and loving relationship then we explore ways of getting things back on track. Often we get lazy in a relationship, take one another for granted, stop sharing hopes, dreams and intimacies.
Some couples lose their way in their marriage when they become parents. Marriage counselling offers the opportunity to look at ways to revitalise the relationship, learning to be more attentive to one another, making time to sit together, cuddle, make love, instead of loading the dishwasher or working on the laptop.
Modern life does seem so very busy, both partners often working, sometimes long hours, lots of extra curricular school events, some at weekends, so time to themselves can seem nigh on impossible.
Too often couples “relax” with wine, which may switch you off, but does not bring you closer. Relying on a glass or two of wine is definitely not conducive to a happy and healthy marriage.
By exploring your relationship, even on your own, in marriage counselling, you can gain lots of useful insight into the what, why and where of your marriage.
Seeking marriage counselling is not an admission of failure, rather it is the opposite, it’s a sign you value the importance of your most important relationship. You deserve to have the best relationship, to have a long and happy marriage, but also to have the opportunity to move on from an unhappy and unloving marriage.
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If you want to speak to a qualified and experienced marriage counsellor, get in touch today.
